Cooke City Newsletter

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The Cooke City Newsletter is published once each week. The deadline for advertisements is each Wednesday. Businesses can advertise for four issues at a rate of $15 per month with a 40 word limit per advertisement. Individual ads are $5 for the first 40 words and $ .10 for each additional word on a weekly basis. Ads can be e-mailed to info@cookecitychamber.org or mailed to Chamber, P.O. Box 1071 Cooke City, MT 59020. If you have questions please call 838-2495 and leave a message. We reserve the right to refuse any ad and also the right to edit for length, grammar and good taste. You can access the newsletter year round on the chamber website at www.cookecitychamber.org.

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In Memory of Steve Liebl

Issue no. 446 In Memory of Steve Liebl May 2, 2008

Community Center Design Committee Update: We have rejected the bids received for the Community Center at this time due to our financial processes not complete and we are looking at an option of construction phases. For more information please contact the Chamber at 838-2495. A public meeting will be planned soon.

Residents of Sunlight/Crandall Area--Painter Outpost is hosting-Retirement party for "Dan Estes" On Saturday May 10th, 2008 @ 6:00pm, they are hosting a retirement party for the Estes'. After 30 years of Dan's providing Law Enforcement in our area, he and Connie are going to Alaska for the "Golden Years!" They are providing some of the food (pot luck contributions accepted), and unlimited coffee, tea and soda pop. A cash bar will be available. Let's get together to celebrate a career and provide an appropriate send-off for our friends.

RSVP at 527-5510, would be appreciated, but not required.

Snowmobile Club Members – Steak fry is May 12th at 6:30 in the Groomer Shed. Steaks provided, please bring a side dish.

Meeting to follow.

LABORERS WANTED – Oftedal Construction Starting middle of May or June depending on the weather. Applications are at the Chamber office or the Oftedal office. For more information call the Oftedal Office at 838-2143.

Mt. Republic Chapel of Peace – Sunday Services at 9:30 a.m. Visitors are welcome. If you have any questions please contact Doug at 838-2397 or stop by the parsonage.

PUBLIC MEETING THURSDAY MAY 22, 2008 1:00 PM AT THE FIRE HALL. Mary Heller and Mike Waite from Congressman Denny Rehberg's office will be here in Cooke City to discuss issues with the Cooke City Area infrastructure. It would be great if all representatives from the area Water Boards and Sewer Committees could plan to be in attendance along with any other interested residents. Feel free to contact Suzy Hahn at the Elk Horn Lodge with questions 838-2332.

Job Opening: Cooke City School Clerk - Please request application and job description by calling 838-2495 or stop by the Chamber to pick one up. Applications and resumes are due by May 15, 2008.

The Clerk & Recorder’s office would like to remind the public that the close of regular registration for the Presidential Primary election is May 5th @ 5:00 p.m. If you are going to be 18 on or before Election day, June 3rd, you can register to vote now. Voter registration cards and other election information are available in the Clerk & Recorder’s office or on line at the Parkcounty.org, Clerk & Recorder web site. If you want to check your registration information or have questions please call 222-4117.

Absentee voting for the Presidential Primary Election to be held on June 3rd, 2008 will be available beginning May 5th until NOON on June 2nd. You can mail or fax in an absentee request. You will need to include your date of birth and your signature. There are absentee request forms on the Clerk & Recorder’s web site, although it is not required that you used that form. Just send us a note and tells where you would like to have your ballot mailed! Requests for absentee ballots can be sent in right now. Any registered voter has the right to vote by absentee ballot. If you have questions please call 222-4111. The Clerk & Recorder’s fax number is 222-4193. Mailing address to send absentee requests is: P.O. Box 1037, Livingston, MT 59047.

2008 YELLOWSTONE PARK ROAD OPENING SCHEDULE

Mammoth to Norris Junction to Madison Junction to Old Faithful; Madison junction to West Entrance; Norris Junction to Canyon are all now open to motor travel, although all sections are subject to temporary closures due to bad weather.

May 2, 2008: Canyon to Lake; Lake to East Entrance.

Information is per web site www.yellowstone.net/parkroads.htm

May 9, 2008: Tower to Tower Fall; Lake to West Thumb; West Thumb to Old Faithful; South to Old Faithful. Cooke City via Colter Pass to the Chief Joseph Scenic Highway intersection to the Long Lake gate shall be open as soon thereafter as possible.

May 23, 2008: Tower Fall to Canyon via Dunraven Pass; Long Lake Gate to Red Lodge via Beartooth Pass.

All Chamber Members will receive an e-mail alert when the road from Cooke City via Colter Pass to the Chief Joseph Hwy is “officially” opened.

Businesses

Questions on business schedules during the month of May please call the Chamber at 838-2495 and we will help you.

BUNS N BEDS DELI and CABINS . Continental Breakfast is available. Sandwiches for here or to go. Daily BBQ, fresh breads, salads, and cheese cakes. Catering available 406-838-2030

Cooke City Area Real Estate for Sale by Owner: Cooke City FSBO lists commercial and residential properties for sale by owner in the Cooke City, Montana area.

www.cookecitymontanafsbo.com 406-838-2443

ELK HORN LODGE: SUZY'S SNOBLAST: Keep up to date with area snow conditions. Sign up for the email notification when the Cooke City area is getting "dumped on" with new snow. www.elkhornlodgemt.com (http://www.elkhornlodgemt.com)
Visit the "Winter Page" and click on Suzy's "SnoBlast" to sign up. Located on Main Street, mid-town in Cooke City. We offer nice cozy cabins with kitchenette and deluxe rooms. All units are non-smoking and have two beds, full bath, direct TV, complimentary coffee and WIFI. www.elkhornlodgemt.com

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Just for Fun

'How Did This Happen?'

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. At the breakfast table you hear "snap, crackle, pop" and you're not eating cereal.

3. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

4. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

5. When happy hour is a nap.

6. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.

7. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

8. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

9. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

10. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

11. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

12. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

13. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

14. It takes twice as long ... to look half as good.

15. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

16. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

17. You sink your teeth into a steak -- and they stay there.

18. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

19. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

20. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

21. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

For Sale / For Rent / Help Wanted / Lost

AUCTION HEADWATERS B&B 3 mile north Gardiner

Saturday, May 17 at 1:00 pm.
   2— 1track 2 up 440 Polaris snowmobiles/ 2 cargo tow behind
       sleds, suits and helmets.
   20 self contained Jayco camp trailer sleeps 4-6; small offset
      press, large trailer for hauling wood, concrete blocks, horse

collars tents, tools, woods, ping pong table, coffee and fresh made

bake goods available during the auction.

Merv and Joyce Olson are moving.

.Help Wanted: Log Cabin Café B & B summer positions open for servers, cooks, dishers. Full/Part-time or Fill-in. Fun atmosphere, great money! Discount at Silvertip Mountain Center.

Laurie: 838 2125.

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Recipe

Here is another one if you like cole slaw you will love this.

Spiced Cole Slaw

1 head Cabbage

2 tsp. Salt

½ large Onion, chopped fine

½ c. Carrot, chopped

3 Tbls. Parsley, minced

½ c. Mayonnaise

1 tsp. dry Mustard

½ c. Sour Cream

3 tsp. Cider vinegar

1 tsp. black Pepper

2 Tbls. Sugar

Combine all ingredients and chill for 1 – 2 hours.

Thanks Dawna at K Bar Z

Don’t forget Mother’s Day is coming Sunday, May 11

Issue no. 445 In Memory of Steve Liebl April 25, 2008

Please remove all vehicles and items stored near the dump by May 1st. Oftedal will begin using the area for construction equipment at that time. The area will be made available again for parking next winter. Vehicles and items not moved or other arrangements made by May 1st will be hauled away by the County. If you have other questions contact Jason at the Federal Highway Administration Office across from the Cooke City General Store or call 838-2021.

Community Center Design Committee Update: We have received bids on the Community Center. We will be rejecting the bids received at this time due to our financial process not being complete. The project is continuing and is under advisement for various options. For further information please call the Chamber at 838-2495. A public meeting will be planned soon.

RESORT TAX REMINDER: THE FIRST QUARTER ENDED 3/31/08. TAX REMITTANCE IS DUE 4/30/08 TO THE PARK COUNTY TREASURER. Need forms or have questions, please call the Chamber at 838-2495.

COOKE CITY CUBS: Would you believe it is time to start thinking about the Annual Fish Fry & Big Fish Contest? Plans are underway for the "world famous" Cooke City Cubs performance. If you have a youngster that would like to participate please call Suzy @ 838-2332. We are lining up costumes. The event is to be held Saturday August 2nd @ Antlers Lodge.

I hear John & Carole Oldemeyer have spent all winter sharpening their barbs for the Big Fish Contest.

Mt. Republic Chapel of Peace – Sunday Services at 9:30 a.m. Visitors are welcome. If you have any questions please contact Doug at 838-2397 or stop by the parsonage.

COOKE CITY - Lee Holt, 79, of Cooke City, died Tuesday, April 22, 2008, at Billings Clinic in Billings.
Cremation has taken place. No services will be held at this time. Michelotti-Sawyers Mortuary of Billings is in charge.

Published in the Billings Gazette on 4/23/2008.

Is Coming!!!!!!!!!!

Spring!!!!!!

Businesses

Questions on business schedules during the month of April please call the Chamber at 838-2495 and we will help you.

BUNS N BEDS DELI and CABINS For the month of April – Open 8:00 to 5:00 during the week and 8:00 to 6:00 on the weekends. Continental Breakfast is available. Sandwiches for here or to go. Daily BBQ, fresh breads, salads, and cheese cakes. Catering available 406-838-2030

Cooke City Area Real Estate for Sale by Owner: Cooke City FSBO lists commercial and residential properties for sale by owner in the Cooke City, Montana area.

www.cookecitymontanafsbo.com 406-838-2443

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For Sale / For Rent / Help Wanted / Lost

Help Wanted: Log Cabin Café B & B summer positions open for servers, cooks, dishers. Full/Part-time or Fill-in. Fun atmosphere, great money! Discount at Silvertip Mountain Center.

Laurie: 838 2125.

For Sale: 1996 Yamaha snow machine for sale. Excellent condition runs good and has had recent maintenance. Asking $ 1,500.00 which half of this amount will be donated to Cooke City First Responder/EMT – call Bob at 838-2089.

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QUOTES ARE FROM ACTUAL EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and
has started to dig."
2. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a
rat in a trap."
5. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them."
8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."
10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
together."

Recipes

Broccoli Cheese Soup

8 oz. Cream Cheese, diced up

2 c. Milk

1 pkg. Broccoli Pieces (frozen) or cooked fresh & chopped up

½ brick Velveeta Cheese

Salt & Pepper

Melt cheeses together with milk in a large pot. Add broccoli and cook on low for 15 minutes or so, until thick. Season to taste with salt & pepper.

********************************************

Corn Pudding

4 Eggs

1 c. Milk

1 can (15 ozs.) Cream-style Corn

½ c. Sugar

5 slices day-old Bread, crusts removed

1 Tbls. Butter or margarine, softened

In a bowl, beat eggs and milk. Add corn and sugar; mix well.

Cut bread into ½-in. cubes and place in a greased 9-in. square

baking dish.

Pour egg mixture over bread. Dot with butter.

Bake, uncovered, at 350° for 50-60 minutes or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean. Yields 9 servings.

11. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
13. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
14. "He's been working with glue too much."
15. "He would argue with a signpost."
16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the
other one."
19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

20. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming."
23. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
27. "One neuron short of a synapse."
28. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

Park County Commissioner, Dick Murphy will be here for the monthly meeting on Friday April 25th.

BIG Chamber Thank You to the Asplunds for shoveling out the deck area at the Chamber office. Thank you!

RESORT TAX REMINDER: THE FIRST QUARTER ENDED 3/31/08. TAX REMITTANCE IS DUE 4/30/08 TO THE PARK COUNTY TREASURER. Need forms or have questions, please call the Chamber at 838-2495.

I hear John & Carole Oldemeyer have spent all winter sharpening their barbs for the Big Fish Contest.

Mt. Republic Chapel of Peace – Sunday Services at 9:30 a.m. Visitors are welcome. If you have any questions please contact Doug at 838-2397 or stop by the parsonage.

Information regarding the Primary & General Elections have been posted at the Post Office and the Chamber. Any questions please call Denise Nelson, Clerk and Recorder at 222-4117.

Colter Pass, Cooke City and Silver Gate registered voters - polling place is now in Gardiner. If you are not able to vote in Gardiner you may request an absentee ballot by calling 222-4111 or go to Parkcounty.org/clerk and recorder to print an absentee request form or the Chamber has copies for your convenience. For the Primary Election on June 3, 2008 absentee ballots will be accepted starting 3/20/08.

Just for Fun

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks. It's as simple as that."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man."

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together, with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. But one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, muscular, and thin, with long eyelashes. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

Businesses

Questions on business schedules during the month of April please call the Chamber at 838-2495 and we will help you.

Cooke City Area Real Estate for Sale by Owner: Cooke City FSBO lists commercial and residential properties for sale by owner in the Cooke City, Montana area.

www.cookecitymontanafsbo.com 406-838-2443

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For Sale / For Rent / Help Wanted / Lost

Help Wanted: Log Cabin Café B & B summer positions open for servers, cooks, dishers. Full/Part-time or Fill-in. Fun atmosphere, great money! Discount at Silvertip Mountain Center.

Laurie: 838 2125.

For Rent Sun Dog Cabin is now available for rent. Fully furnished, one bedroom apartment including phone and satellite TV. Nightly and weekly rates. Please contact Heather Burdette, at 406-838-2351 or e-mail noel1215@montana.com. Website: ww.VRBO.com/108093

More for fun

Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this.

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what 4-H means.

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted. (See #6.)

4) You used to 'drag' Main.

5) Most people went by a nickname.

6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.

7) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off.

8) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.

9) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

10) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by references. Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks to Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track field.

11) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

12) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.

13) The town next to you was considered 'trashy' or 'snooty,' but was actually just like your town.

14) You referred to anyone with a house newer than 1945 as the 'rich' people.

15) The people in the 'big city' dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend 2 years later.

16) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the dairy bar.

17) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.

18) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

19) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.

20) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.

21) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.

22) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.

23) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.

24) The closest mall was over an hour away.

25) You've pee'd in a cornfield.

Issue no. 443 In Memory of Steve Liebl April 11, 2008

BIG Chamber Thank You to the Asplunds for shoveling out the deck area at the Chamber office. Thank you!

RESORT TAX REMINDER: THE FIRST QUARTER ENDED 3/31/08. TAX REMITTANCE IS DUE 4/30/08 TO THE PARK COUNTY TREASURER. Need forms or have questions, please call the Chamber at 838-2495.

I hear John & Carole Oldemeyer have spent all winter sharpening their barbs for the Big Fish Contest.

Mt. Republic Chapel of Peace – Sunday Services at 9:30 a.m. Visitors are welcome. If you have any questions please contact Doug at 838-2397 or stop by the parsonage.

Information regarding the Primary & General Elections have been posted at the Post Office and the Chamber. Any questions please call Denise Nelson, Clerk and Recorder at 222-4117.

Congratulations to Shane Baun of Little Falls, MN. “Shane is the winner of the avalanche pack donated from the Snowmobile Club to promote snowmobile awareness of ethics.

For Fun

YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know! YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2
3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 5.

If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758. If you haven't, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number -
The first digit of this was your original number. (i.e., How many
times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.) The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT
WILL EVER WORK!

Businesses

Questions on business schedules during the month of April please call the Chamber at 838-2495 and we will help you.

Cooke City Area Real Estate for Sale by Owner: Cooke City FSBO lists commercial and residential properties for sale by owner in the Cooke City, Montana area.

www.cookecitymontanafsbo.com 406-838-2443

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For Sale / For Rent / Help Wanted / Lost

Help Wanted: Log Cabin Café B & B summer positions open for servers, cooks, dishers. Full/Part-time or Fill-in. Fun atmosphere, great money! Discount at Silvertip Mountain Center.

Laurie: 838 2125.

Another Actual dialogue with a call center for computer help.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:    'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller:    'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator:    'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the

                      words went away.'
Operator:    'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator:    'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller:    'Nothing.'
Operator:     'Nothing??'
Caller:    'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
                                      Continued on next column -

Continued -

Operator:    'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller:    'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:     'Never mind, can you move your cursor around

the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept

anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a

TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's

on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find

where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice

that there were two cables plugged into the back of

it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again

and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely

                       into the back of your computer.'
Caller:    'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller:    'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and

lean way over??'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's

because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have

                       is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:    'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:   'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it

licked now. Do you still have the boxes
and manuals and packing stuff that your computer

came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack

it up just like it was when you got it.
then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!'

Issue no. 441 In Memory of Steve Liebl March 28, 2008

Ladies Luncheon – Wednesday the 2nd at 12:30. Meet at the Bakery.

Shoofly Historical Museum and Community Center Building Project - Plans and Project Manual are available at the Chamber – All area sub-contractors should contact either Design Lab or one of the General Contractors. To obtain a contractor list please contact Design Lab at 406-245-5071. Closing date is April 3, 2008.

FREE items for removal from the Mus House - Available April 5 - April 25 - wood stove, decking, tin, windows, doors, misc. furniture, etc. First come, First Serve. Contact the Chamber at 838-2495 to make arrangements.

Park County Commissioner – Dick Murphy will be here Friday the 28th at 9:00. Please meet at the Fire Hall.

Mt. Republic Chapel of Peace – Sunday Services at 9:30 a.m. Visitors are welcome. If you have any questions please contact Doug at 838-2397 or stop by the parsonage.

Information regarding the Primary & General Elections have been posted at the Post Office and the Chamber. Any questions please call Denise Nelson, Clerk and Recorder at 222-4117.

A Sears service person is coming Thursday, April 3rd. to work in town. If anyone needs an appliance looked at or a dryer cleaned out for fire prevention, the service call would be a lot less for anyone else since he will already be here. If anyone is interested in having him check out something for them, please call Mary at 838-2433.

JUST FOR FUN

"My I.R.S. Return"